Do you ever find yourself having the same conversations/battles? Whether the battle is solo or with someone else? And you’re at a point that maybe when the conversation comes up you immediately start to space out because you’re over it and know where it will lead to?
Yeah, me too…that was fully me! But then I noticed that this conversation never STOPPED coming up.
There’s a boundary between tension and productive tension. This idea became engraved into me when I started to notice a pattern between Justin + I. There were times we could effectively overcome something, but then there was also conversations that brought the same emotional charge of anger, frustration, isolation, distance.
Tension plays off of the situation and how it made a person feel.
“You didn’t do the dishes and now I’m frustrated.” To another, it appears so minor, so they instantly are shooting back with rebuttals to protect their Ego.
Where does overthinking come from? And why does it happen? Do I have the power to sever my relationship with it?
Without a doubt.
Two reasons overthinking happens.
One: A lack of connection with your body
Two: Your unprocessed past
Don’t give me crazy side-eyes. Hear me out!
Without rambling for hours, I’ll keep it short. Usually, when there is a lack of connection with your body, there is a lack of trust as well. When you don’t trust, you can’t openly receive the inner guidance your body can give. When you don’t trust you also aren’t living through your highest form of yourself (which God is fully involved in). So then where are the internal thought processes actually coming from?
Your past. It plays a huge part in your ability to think and move forward. The phrase ‘your past’ will also be defined differently than what you are used to. Your past, is what is left of it…the unprocessed...
Somewhere along the way, we were conditioned to believe that life is meant to be hard. That life is meant to only be lived on the weekends, vacations, and holidays. That it's normal to live through chronic anxiety, depression, sleep issues, depleting relationships, panic attacks, unhappiness, purposelessness, and a substance that makes us feel better.
This is a conditioned belief. A belief that leaves you feeling confused, lost and that something is 'off' or missing.
The pain, the memories, the shame, the guilt, and lack of knowing how to process through these emotions is what leads us to confirm that indeed, life is meant to be lived that way.
If this doesn't feel right for you and you feel there is something deeper to live through, this episode will confirm this new + evolving belief. It will guide you to dream a bit deeper. To allow your heart to feel expansive and excited. To give you the right amount of hope to start living and feeling differently.
Life can evolve so damn quickly,...
How to finally let go of a negative thought? Right.
This has been a very hot question lately.
First, let’s dive into a different perspective. What if this thought, wasn’t actually categorized as ‘positive’ or more importantly ‘negative’? What if everything we try and place in the negative trash bin actually held a great deal of power, truth, acceptance, and freedom? What if we only categorized it as negative because we weren’t taught how to question our thoughts?
What if we actually placed our attention, love, and compassion into this ‘negative’ thought and questioned why we believe it to be true to begin with? Where did this come from? When did I learn this? You’ll likely uncover you learned this somewhere in the journey of life…from someone else.
But do you ever notice that no matter what you do whether you try and forget it, cover it up with a positive mantra or affirmation, sweep it under the rug,...
It doesn’t matter if you came from the best family there ever was or lived like the “Child Called It”.
Trauma is trauma. Pain is pain. It doesn’t mean your loved ones fell short of raising you or that there was a lack of love/safety.
It means you’re human + that you experienced something + it didn’t feel good, or it felt scary + you didn’t have the tools to be able to properly digest what you experienced.
So it goes unprocessed + undealt with. Labeling it with “I never want to feel like this again”.
Now it’s living in your being + the moment a similar experience or emotion enters into your world, you subconsciously are taken back to that past experience.
You’re now triggered. You freak + react from that past situation out of protection. Even if it means responding from a space that severs the things most precious to you, bc that’s where they usually show up.
I didn’t understand self-fulfilling prophecies until I was in one. As much as I wanted to heal this area of my life, there was this weird sense of love I received from not allowing myself to actually move forward. I stayed stuck in this “unhealed” state for years thinking it was only possible once the other person stepped up.
Now knowing, that isn’t the case. Do you feel you’ve placed your love + attention in this one area so many times but yet you still can’t seem to untangle the feeling of release?
I’ve had this very weird out of body experience about three times. It’s the weirdest thing that I cannot even put it fully into words. But I believe God was trying to lead to me a deeper place of awakening.
When I’m speaking, especially if someone is down for deeeeeep talks, there’s this side of me that’s fully connected, present, and on fire, but there’s been a few times where randomly someone...
There were times where Justin + I would have tension in the same department…over + over + over again. Like dang Sheryl, why?
He would do something and I would react. I would get my panties in a tight bunch and it was like that wedgie you can’t seem to get out.
My reactions were the same. I would raise my voice, I would put up a wall and Hard Bitch Mode would unveil. I would question him + I would try and control his ways.
And when he would mess up, again, the reaction was in fact the same vicious cycle.
You ever heard of Emotional Addiction?
I learned about this weird pairing of words about halfway into my journey + it wasn’t until I experienced it that I actually understood it.
It’s this concept of receiving pleasure from our pain. It can be difficult to wrap our brain around this at first, right?
Like heh? What in the juicy world do you mean I receive pleasure from things that bother the jahebeezes out...
As women, as mommas, as lovers...
we tend to OVER give and UNDER receive.
We tend to put our soul love....LAST on the list...thinking this will inevitably mark as a 'good human being' or a wonderful (insert your title) orrr because you love those in your life, right?!
But have you felt the disconnect? Have you felt the confusion around who you are? Have you felt the cries wanting to seep through at night? Have you felt the negative thoughts about yourself drown you in self-betrayal? Have you felt the jealousy of another kick you in the ass and make you react out of frustration? Are you tired, yet?
At some point, you were taught to close the gap of receiving. You were taught that once the 'to-dos' are crossed off THEN you can enjoy + relax, but typically it never happens well because, you're tired + depleted.
You're confused, lost, disconnected from...
I wasn’t taught how to let my Inner Woman out.
For the longest, I deeply betrayed the biggest blessing of my life.
For the first 23 years of my life, I hated me. I hid. I was so fearful of what She could do. I was so ashamed of Her.
She wanted to be sexy. She wanted to be seen. She wanted to speak with others. She wanted to showcase her goofy side.
But She was afraid.
Afraid of judgement.
Afraid of not being accepted.
Afraid of being laughed at for trying.
Afraid that what I viewed as sexy actually wasn’t.
Afraid that She was too bold.
Afraid that She was too head-strong.
Afraid that She would be labeled bossy.
Afraid that those She loved would leave her.
I lived in so much fear a good portion of my life.
That fear lead me to trapping my greatest gift into a tiny box hidden far within.
And that led me to accept men, behavior, and friends that didn’t align with my greatest good. That didn’t cherish...
When an emotion bursts from the seam and it doesn't feel the best...what is your first reaction? To shove it down and away OR to feel and process through it?
Likely, your instinct is to push it far into the ground praying it never surfaces again.
How do I know? I'm a physic...sikee
We've seen from others that shoving it in a box and redundantly taping the seams together will never allow it to show again. Would you agree?
If you're reading this my tingingly spider senses are telling me you that know that to be complete bird sh*t!
I hear you. It doesn't have to be like this NOR should it be!
What you have been taught likely stemmed...
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