As women, as mommas, as lovers...
we tend to OVER give and UNDER receive.
We tend to put our soul love....LAST on the list...thinking this will inevitably mark as a 'good human being' or a wonderful (insert your title) orrr because you love those in your life, right?!
But have you felt the disconnect? Have you felt the confusion around who you are? Have you felt the cries wanting to seep through at night? Have you felt the negative thoughts about yourself drown you in self-betrayal? Have you felt the jealousy of another kick you in the ass and make you react out of frustration? Are you tired, yet?
At some point, you were taught to close the gap of receiving. You were taught that once the 'to-dos' are crossed off THEN you can enjoy + relax, but typically it never happens well because, you're tired + depleted.
You're confused, lost, disconnected from yourself, depleted, tired, and quickly becoming over all of this. Is this hitting home a little too hard?
I hear you Sister Babe....
About two years ago, I was giving my everything to my job, biz, Justin, family + friends..trying to juggle it all and eventually fell flat on my face.
I remember Justin would ask me "what's wrong baby?".
Silence filled the room as I searched for words to describe....."I'm tired" is all I could manage.
I didn't fully understand what those words actually meant. I couldn't understand why I quite literally was always drained and beginning to live unhappily. I couldn't understand why my biz + I weren't connecting and expanding. I couldn't understand why I was always so resentful for everyone wanting my time. I couldn't understand why GUILT would make me question taking time to myself.
Throughout my journey of (1st) no longer being able to live through my reality (2nd) becoming curious on how I could change it + (3rd) leaning deep into my body and shadow, I was able to connect the pieces....as a little girl my mom could never quite show up for me as I needed her to. I remember at such a young age saying, "when I have kids...I will ALWAYS show up for them NO MATTER WHAT. If Im halfway across the country and they have a game..FLY BACK real quick."
My thoughts + actions revolved around it. I never wanted my future kids to feel the pain that I felt majority of my life..so I overcompensated and felt like I had to ALWAYS show up no.matter.what. and if I didn't I feared the pain would be felt from the other.
Although we don't quite yet have little babes running around, my biz, family + friends soon began to become those little kids that I have always envisioned and I overdid myself in FEAR of, will they feel the pain I did if I don't show up?
See how unresolved pain can create a reality that slowly begins to control + drain you from everything you truly desire?
You want to feel alive, Sister?!
You want to feel love, Sister?!
You want to feel radiant + lush + juicy + playful + sexy + open + cared for + safe + full + connected + strong + supported, Sister?!
I know...and despite what you might be feeling, I PROMISE...if you allow yourself to become open enough, you will receive more than what you pray for. *you can count on me*
Try this exercise on and tweak it to make it feel alive + juicy for you!
EXERCISE: "I am open".
I am open to love
I am open to fullness
I am open to abundance
I am open to guidance
I am open to be sexy
.....and so forth.
Really allow yourself to sink into this. Change your voice up..Have fun with this. Your Inner Woman wants to come out...so allow these few moments for you to feel a glimpse of her!
Then, allow yourself to wrap your loving arms around your being and tell yourself what you yearn to hear from another.
This exercise will likely be weird at first. THAT'S OKAY. It means you're allowing a deeper version of yourself to unravel!
Share with me your experience either through commenting below or an IG/FB story + be sure to tag me. I'll send back the love + share you across my story as well!
Sending you so much love + magic!
FB: Brooke Manley
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